well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
