Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
