Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
