He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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