THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
