A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
