you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize