Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
