bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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