the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
