Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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