Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
