4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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