yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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