Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
