Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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