weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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