so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
