I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
