found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize