erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
