I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
