He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
