yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
