Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
