im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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