So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
