I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize