My sheets look like a crime scene.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
