i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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