Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
ok first of all what the fuck
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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