yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
