You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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