foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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