wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
