And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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