how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
