Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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