Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
