I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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