he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
