The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms