FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
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I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
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I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night