Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?