Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
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I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
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So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great