Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
How drunk are you?
Completed.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
