If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
