i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
