he shaved USA in his pubs
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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