We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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