i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
