I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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