I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
