the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
