You're so nebulous sometimes
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
