he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
