let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
