Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
