New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
