Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
