goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize