He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
