did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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