My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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