You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
